Release

Though I sit and wait, nothing seems to find it's way.
I know the words are there, just waiting to pounce,
Yet they sit, abated by the keyboard
That once was so inviting.

Come on...let go...
A writing plague,
After so much time away
Should not be my curse!

Silence. Nothingness.
Like the edge of the universe.
Inspiration fails me
Though I know it's in me.

These tired hands match my tired brain.
My heart aches to be in the game,
But my mind won't connect.

Ahhh, a spark of recognition begins...
I understand where the kink in the thought is!
Damned self-intrusion!!
I undermine myself once again....

I am stuck in a moment, an instant of regret...embarrassment...when something you should be doing properly goes awry because you aren't on your game. Admittedly, the first stage of the downfall is internal frustration and then avoidance. Somehow we bounce along, thinking that as long as it's only ourselves that know, we can live with our own shortfalls. However, as soon as someone acknowledges the err of our ways, the game changes. We become accountable. Embarrassed. Regretful.

So, I did something I regret...no, it wasn't evil or intentional or hurtful, but it was irresponsible. Period. Oh, and let's add to the equation that this isn't the first nor shall it be the last time I have a moment of regret...because the reality is, I am human. It's in our nature; it's how we learn...and how we teach. The goal is to remember and not to repeat. What is the definition of insanity? Albert Einstein once said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".

So there it is. I've let it out. Now it's time to do something different before someone thinks I'm insane!